I am merry because....

• 1. Christmas Cards! Thank you for sending them. I rush out to the mailbox everyday during the month of December. If you didn't send one to us, please do next year. They make me so happy!
• 2. I have a mother-in-law who just knew that a starbucks gift card in the mail two weeks ago would be a huge treat-at just the right time. And, because she has been patient and gracious to me as I have discovered what it really means to be a daughter-in-law. When I finally completely opened myself up, the richness of relationship has come from fully sharing my husband and her son.
• 3. I have sister-in-laws that I am counting down the days to see and spend time with in March, and I love the men in their lives just as much!
• 4. I have a dad who picks up the phone whenever I call, wherever he is.
• 5. A mom who constantly hugged, kissed, and cuddled us growing up, and who has never critized one moment of my parenting.
• 6. A brother that loves having some "guy" time with my boys, and neices who adore taking care of their cousins.
• 7. Dinner and story time with the YLM boys. For the friends from our class who made the idea happen, for the time spent with them and their families, and some special boys who instead of praying for God to change their situations pray that God gives them the strength they need. Pray that I remember this the next time a complaint crosses my mind or lips.
• 8. Friends that love me knowing I am a work in progress. I read this recently, "You don't create intimacy; you make room for it. This is true whether you are talking about your spouse, your friend, or God. You need space to be together. Efficiency, multitasking, and busyness all kill intimacy." I have been letting those last three things creep in. Thanks for being patient with me, being there for me, and loving me through my many imperfections. I love being part of your lives.
• 9. That there were two lululemon packages under our tree as well as a picture of me driving a brand new minivan! Slam dunk, M-you did good!
• 10. That I got my number 3, and he has red hair with a little ducktail curl in the back to boot! Not to mention, he loves his momma something fierce and she loves every minute of it.
• 11. That a father of a little girl Whitt's age came up to us last night after seeing Whitt on the Christmas video at church and said, "I better keep ____ (his daughter's name) away from Whitt. He is just to cute!" His energy can be challenging at times, but it is also completely contagious. I never know what is going to come out of his mouth, and he makes me laugh so hard my sides hurt at least twice a day.
• 12. That my sweet girl looked at her brothers in the bathtub tonight and said in a fit of giggles, "That is what we got for Christmas, a day full of laughter." Yes, my almost five year old is way more profound than me.
• 13. That I have a man who makes me feel so beautiful every day that I am finally able to say I like my body just the way it is.
• 14. Homemade toffee from a friend and peppermint ice cream!
• 15. That as we walked outside last night at 7:30 to leave our reindeer food on the driveway our copy of How Christmas Began had all of a sudden been delivered to our back step just in time. Since I don't believe in coincidences, it was like God patting me on the back, saying here you go. All the insecurities I felt about how we were handling Christmas with our children this year washed away. And, to all a good night!

Discipling the big guy in the Red Suit....

and, Remebering who the Big Guy really is!

So, we have been doing a Jesse advent tree devotion for the past twenty-three days, read the Christmas story over and over, played with our different nativity scenes, talked about the cake we are going to bake for Jesus birthday, and have created a love chain where each link talks about how they celebrate Jesus' birth in different countries on Christmas day (great tool our church gave us). But, to be honest it has not eclipsed the fascination of Santa Claus for Mae and Whitt. I don't think it is as much the three presents Santa brings as it is the wonder and spirit of the jolly old man who lives in the north pole with his mysterious flying reindeer (don't get me wrong I know they really like the presents as well). A dear friend told me about a book How Christmas Began by Claire Boudreaux Bateman that explains how Jesus helps Santa do his job, but unfortunately, there must be several parents with this same issue because when I ordered it three weeks ago it was backordered. So, Mae and Whitt were interviewed for the kids video that is played at the 4:00 Christmas Eve service at our church. Well, yesterday the video came in the mail, and Mae and Whitt answered "Santa" to what Christmas is all about. Now don't get me wrong, the video with my two little Christmas cuties giggling and talking away will be a treasure to me for years to come because of their interesting thoughts and responses. I just realized it was time for Santa to have a "come to Jesus" moment at our house. We needed them to be interwoven in our conversations for the time being. So, this christmas we are discipling Santa. I asked Mae and Whitt to draw pictures showing what happened on the very first Christmas and what it means to us so that we could show Santa. Here they are:

The first side of Mae's has baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, a wiseman, and a peace dove. The other side has Jesus' birthday cupcake, the tomb where Jesus was laid, and a cross.

Whitt asked to use his stickers to help tell the story. He said the black in the background is the birthday cake truck and the blue is Jesus' cake.

We are leaving the drawings with Santa's cookies and milk and decided to make some angel, cross, and lamb cookies to go along with the santa, reindeer, and snowman cookies we usually leave. And, as Whitt said while icing cookies, we are "showing Santa the way to Jesus."

On another note: as much as Mae and Whitt LOVE Santa, the little red-headed man has a total aversion to him. It is intense!

PS-I am open to any suggestions, ideas, or insights on this complex dynamic : )

And, I know the drawings need to be rotated, but I have no clue how to do it. So, for now you will just have to have neck spasms while attempting to look at them-SORRY!

And, who said men can't multitask?

After fixing breakfast this morning, Michael and I were standing in the kitchen, drinking coffee, and attempting to have a five minute conversation before he had to be out the door for work. As I was standing across from Michael, I all of a sudden noticed his legs moving slightly side to side. I looked down to see our very own little gnome/ elf/ koala bear tucked in between his daddy's legs. He had evidently walked over and cuddled up with his blankie and fingers for a little rocking session. I never noticed, and to michael's credit, his eyes never left mine and he just kept on talking like all of it was second nature to him.

What goes on in their cute little heads!?!

I run across little set-ups like this four or five times a week. They always make me smile, and ALWAYS leave me wondering what exactly they were thinking. Here we have a place setting for four complete with cookies and toast and quite a crew waiting at the train station: the three pigs from Shrek, Bruce the shark from Nemo, donkey, Snow White, Cinderella, Chic-fil-a cow, strange wood-face girl, wolf, otter, and killer whale. Oh, and they definitely needed the pink Dora phone in case of emergency. I just love how everything is placed in such a way that you know much thought/ strategy went into this little set-up, and there was most certainly a specific reason behind each placement. Good to know imaginative play is alive and well at the Stockburger house!

Why I love this Christmas...

My favorite part of the season so far is this... Mae brought this home from school today. She had some "journaling" time, and out of all the things she could have picked to draw, she decided to draw baby Jesus in his manger. I just love that this was what was on her heart today.

Our Red-headed Wrecking Ball....

It's official. Bruce has entered the stage of learning through continous exploration which is really just code for, "I destroy anything that is in my path." This is what happens when you turn your back for just one minute or even just thirty seconds: You think you have a napping baby in a peaceful slumber when you really have a kleenex kid that has reached through the bars of the crib and joyfully strewn every last kleenex from the box along with a stack of diapers everywhere.

You start to unbutton older brother and sister for bath time, and next thing you know you have a fully clothed baby in the bathtub. And yes, the super absorbant diaper soaked as much water as possible and then decided to explode, releasing all those little gel balls throughout the tub.

And here he decided to repay the dog for all the rodeo riding he had been doing on Tank's back by feeding him as much as he possibly could. Ninety pound dogs do eat alot, just not an entire laundry room full of food.

Yes, just an average day for Big B. At least, he looks super cute while wreaking havoc; it makes the mess totally worth it.

It's all in the Accessories...

Last night was the annual "Hanging of the Greens" at our church. The kids' choirs start the evening by leading us in a worship service, then there are fun arts and crafts, cookies, and even a live nativity or "n-activity" scene as whitt likes to call it. With these joyous festivities also came time for Mae's second choir performance. (For those of you new to our family blog, you can go back and read "Espionage" from April to get a little background on our sweet Mae's fear of stage performances.) Well, we came to the family decision that it was time to conquer this fear head-on and not let it dictate who was and wasn't able to come. A few weeks ago, we told Mae that all of us were coming to watch her, that it was going to be a full family event just like her soccer games, and more importantly a time of family worship where she was going to be leading the way for us. We prayed about it; we made "tickets" (complete with pink glitter hearts) that she then presented to each of us; and we made little smiley faces to hold up from the audience in case the doubt started to creep up again. All of that was fun and she seemed really excited, but I still had the sense that we weren't truly getting to the heart of the matter. Parenthood can be like going fishing sometimes; you keep throwing out different lines over and over and just sometimes with a little grace and patience, you are able to catch them. So over Thanksgiving holiday in Virginia, I must have read The Magic Locket by Elizabeth Koda-Callan to Mae at least ten times. We both just kept going back to it when it came time for stories. It is about a little girl who learns to believe in herself after her favorite aunt gives her a magic locket. She discovers that the magic in the locket is really her when she opens it and sees her reflection in the tiny mirror inside. (All my friends with girls, do yourself a favor and go buy Callan's series of books for your daughters-they are amazing, great Christmas gift!) Finally, on saturday it occured to me that my very fashion savy four year old who just loves to accessorize would delight in her very own locket. We got the locket and placed a tiny photo of Mae inside. She loved it and I could see in her face that we had finally broken through. Last night, she marched (and, I say march because she was definitely on a mission)down the very LONG aisle at our church, got on stage (front row/center), and sang her little heart out praising our God and knowing that she was leading her family in a precious time of worship. I, of course, delighted in the performance-lump in my throat, holding back the tears kind of delighting, but what was even more powerful to me was the look on her face when she joined us in the congregation right afterwards. Her eyes glistened with confidence and belief in herself; the inner beauty that comes when you challenge yourself and you rise to the occassion. So here's to my little stargazer-Way to go baby girl!

The Blessing of the Pick-me ups...

I am not a morning person, self-proclaimed. It is not that I like to sleep in; it is more that my brain/ communication skills don't want to kick-in until I have had a bit of coffee. I am definitely not perky in the morning; I prefer to quietly move through the motions and tasks at hand. On the other hand, my man (who I really, really love) is an irritatingly PERKY morning person. He can talk incessantly, loudly, and be oh-so chipper in the morning which has made this flaw of mine all the more apparent to me. So, I was a little concerned this year when school started on just how I (again, not a morning person) was going to get a four year old, three year old, and one year old dressed, fed, teeth-brushed, hair-brushed (including bow in proper place for Miss Mae), bags packed, and off to school by 8:00 (all the while trying to have a moment of connection with them before they start their school day). But, ever since that first day of school in August, God has sent me just what I need every single morning, the perfect pick-me up. Each morning right as the cars are loading for carpool, Mae runs to Whitt and gives him a giant hug and says, "I love you!" Whitt responds in fits of giggles with "I love you, more!" as he just about squeezes the life out of sweet Mae hugging her back. Often Mae looks at me and says, "Whitty is the best brother, ever," and Whitt will yell back to Mae, "Have a great day!" And, every single morning when it happens, I feel my heart get so full that it physically hurts and it feels like it might explode and yes, sometimes I feel the tears start to sting my eyes. So, on this thanksgiving day, I am thankful for all the personal love notes like this that God sends me throughout the day. I pray he opens my eyes and heart more each day so that I see and feel His love more clearly and deeply, and I don't let these personal moments He creates pass me by in the business of life (or in the business of a morning). I am thankful for all the times I see Him looking at me through the eyes of a husband, daughter and sons, parents and in-laws, sisters and brothers, loving friends, teachers, volunteers, and the occasional stranger who crosses my path at just the right moment.

PS-Sweet Bruce does get a quick hug from Mae and Whitt each morning as well. It's just that his early morning communication skills are about what mine are at this point-one word phrases.

Seven Year Itch...

*After a couple of years just the two of us, miracle #1, a move to Chicago, bedrest round 1, miracle #2, a move back from Chicago, toddler chaos x 2, bedrest round 2, miracle #3, countless highs coupled with a few lows and hard decisions, I am still itching for you more than ever. *Although I don't tell you why I love you enough and I never seem to fill in the "gaps" for you as seemlessly as you do for me, just remember your rearview shot looks like this. *Some of my happiest moments are the ones quietly spent in your shadow. Happy Anniversary!!!

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy....

And, then there is the stink-eye...

Another season over, and a new one begins...

Mae had her last soccer game tonight. I have loved watching the growth in her over the past six months from one soccer season to the next. Last spring, she would be so excited to get to the game, but then as we reached the top of the hill that overlooked the field, she would get a little nervous and would want to stay with me. After a few minutes of coaxing and a prayer, she would hesistantly run down and join the team. This season, she would barrel out of the car, rushing out on the field, never looking back. Our girl has most certainly entered a new season in her life. She has really come into her own, leaving all signs of baby behind and embracing the adventurous spirit of a little girl. She delights us with girlie giggles, lots of twirling of herself as well as her hair, and constant requests of "Watch me, Watch me!!" Around every corner is something new she wants to try, and she can hang with the best of the boys. You can see the constant wonder glimmering in her eyes. But more than that, I am watching her innate nurturing spirit blossom into a true consideration of others. Whitt loves "hard" with an enthusiastic intensity; Mae loves tenderly. She is perceptively sensitive to others, really loving them well in her own confident and peaceful way. At four and half, she already seems to know when words are needed and when they are not-when a friend or brother just needs you to "be" with them. Mae is a challenge for me to raise. Not because she is strong-willed (although there is an assertiveness to her that I just love), but because God has placed such a deep and beautiful heart in her. She already teaches me so much, and I am challenged by her spirit to be more, to be a better version of myself so that I can be the mom she needs and deserves. God has made me feel so special and loved by His trusting me to be this girl's mom.

Hunka Burning Love...

Yet another reason you gotta love Memphis. It is completely normal to dress your 15 month old as Elvis for Halloween... What can I say he is a total stud! He totally rocks the costume, doesn't he?! And, a little Halloween bonus from Dorothy of the Wizard of "Paws" (as she called herself) and Superman.

With a Wink and a Smile....

Ok, the "wink" is really just batting of her eyelashes, but look at how pleased with herself she is. She looks pretty darn cute either way!

And, don't you just love the encouragement by brother Whitt in the background.

Whittisms....

These are just a few from today.....

"There is the Mississippi River. One time God turned it into blood." (not quite the Nile, but hey, our city is named after Memphis, Egypt)

----

"Mommy, my favorite thing to do is to stay home from school and be sick. Let's do that tomorrow. That is a great idea!"

Me: "Why do you want to do that? And, by the way, you aren't sick anymore" (he was sick one day last week)

"I feel a cough coming on, and I need to get in bed to watch videos and have breakfast for dinner again to feel better."

----

"Mommy, we are the boss of our bodies."

Me: "Yes"

"But, we are not the president of our bodies, right!?"

----

At bath time, he decided to stand on the edge of the tub and "spray" it down just as I was about to run the water. And, yes, just in case you were wondering, the potty is only about two feet away. Not really sure why he decided to use the tub instead of it.

----

And, finally as he was being tucked in and we were saying prayers, he said, "Thank you Jesus for finding a home in my heart!"

----

What a perfect combination of boyhood wonder, precociousness, mischief, and sensitivity, and all in one day!

Touchstone

It is going to take some kind of woman to capture my Whitt's heart. She is definitely going to have to be pretty special to pull away from the shadow of his big sister.

He absolutely adores Mae. This picture says it all. Whitt is loud, rambunctious, enthusiastic, and loves an audience. Miss Mae is more reserved and pensive with an independent spirit and a quiet confidence. She doesn't mind that he is continually chattering while she hardly gets a word in. She laughs at his antics. One would think that the quieter one would rely on the energetic one, but not so. She is his touchstone, always there when he needs her. She so often is his strength and reassurance by being just who she is. Like I said, this picture says it all.

Grace

From the lips of children and infants, you have ordained praise..." Psalm 8:2a

Michael took this picture last weekend, and I immediately fell in love with it. I never would have seen the way Bruce was looking up at me if Michael hadn't captured that perfect moment (I was busy keeping my eyes on the older two as they danced and darted around the shell). That is the story of sweet Bruce's life-he quietly and patiently goes here and there, just about everywhere, following after Mae and Whitt.

Being a wife and mother of three, I am fully aware that I am unable to meet everyone's needs each day. I fail each of them at some point. I cling to the hope and knowledge that God fills in all those gaps for me, He is made perfect in my weakness. And, although I love them with an intensity I can't even begin to put into words, an ugliness bubbles up in me from time to time, the resentment in my selfish heart whispering when is there time for me. The reality is I always miss them the minute they are gone.

But, in this picture, my precious baby is looking at me with complete love. He isn't thinking about all the ways I have failed him or my many faults; he is just patiently waiting for me to turn and face him, holding on to me the entire time.

As I looked at that captured moment, I thought what a perfect reflection of God's grace for us. How amazing is a God who uses a fourteen month old to remind his mommy once again of our God's love!

This Mess is Best!

And, well worth the effort! This is how we get a little "culture" at the Stockburger house. We might not be the next Monet, Picasso, or Cezanne, but we sure had fun doing it.

I actually thought Whitt's humpty dumpty was pretty good!

O-R-E-O

Thirteen months old and B already knows how to eat an oreo perfectly. Tear apart the two outer cookies and go straight for the yummy white creme filling (or whatever man-made high fructose junk that they call the center). Obviously, he is both genius and highly dexterous! PS-My sweet mother-in-law is probably cringing as she watches this video.

Offspring

The intense heat seemed to vanish last week, and turned into the weather where you just can't seem to spend enough time outdoors. So, last friday afternoon, we headed to the playground for time with friends (even a friend from oxford appeared). After almost two hours of play, someone had the idea of trying to corral all the little ones in for a picture. We scattered goldfish in front of the toddler babies in hopes of keeping them still long enough for a few quick shots (it is amazing how kids are like pigeons when it comes to snack food). Next we tried to rope in Miss Mae and the older boys (one was a little reluctant to leave the slide, who could blame him: slide vs. getting blinded by multiple cameras-tough pick). And, then there were the fresh ones, sweetly sleeping on their respective mommies' laps, completely oblivious to the mass chaos inches away from them. Even with a bag of goldfish strewn everywhere, one person making every imaginable noise under the sun, and me shaking my tooshie for entertainment, the three cameras were not quite able to capture all our little banchees. A few days later, we spent the afternoon with some friends visiting from atlanta and some memphis friends. There was swinging, scooter riding, ball playing, running, yelling, water time (which eventually led to a bunch of nakedness)-okay, and, a little bit of destruction as well. With a final burst of energy, we gathered everyone for a bath. Seven children in one tub-yes, seven, and let me tell you, it was a tub full of cuteness! By the way, there were two newborn baby boys watching from the sidelines. Another year and they will be tossed in the tub as well and we will be up to nine! As I watched both these pictures being taken, I was overcome just thinking about how rich God has made our lives, entrusting each of us with His little ones. We are all literally covered in babies, and although parenthood can be exhausting and overwhelming at times, it takes one little moment like these to put the magnitude and miracle of it all into perspective. I am constantly hearing that this generation is facing the toughest times to grow up in, that the lines of real Truth are being blurred and constantly tested in this Postmodern culture, but as I am watching these little ones grow, I see different parts of their mommies and daddies in them, parts that I love their parents for-the best parts! It makes me hopeful. God's hands are all over this bunch of little ones, so watch out world! This little posse is going to be up to the challenge.

Just in time for Halloween....

B has his Frankenstein walk down! I just love how he sticks his arms straight out in front of him!

Goldie (aka the Heisman trophy to little boys)

Whitt had his first day of preschool today. Baby Bruce and I walked him to school, and then we said a little prayer together outside his room. I gave him a kiss, and he walked in without hesitation, with a huge smile on his face. Selfishly, I was a little sad, but for the most part, I was just happy for him. He was so excited about his day and so ready to be there. When I picked him up, it was even greater level of excitement. He was absolutely beaming! Sheer joy oozing out of every pore of his body. As he strutted to the car, he yelled to me, "I get to bring Goldie home! I am the first one." (Goldie is a stuffed animal dog that each little boy gets to take home for a night. Goldie has a carrying case and comes with a "Clifford" book to read. They draw names out of a jar so they all get a night with Goldie.) As I rolled down my window, Whitt's teacher leaned in and said they had purposefully pulled Whitt's name out of the jar because he had been such a sweet friend on the playground that day. Evidently, one of the little boys in Whitt's class had been overwhelmed by all the yelling on the playground and said he didn't like the noise. My little man who has the energy of a tasmanian devil and loves to use his "outside" voice incessantly at all times looked at his teacher and volunteered to play with his new friend using a soft voice while all the other boys ran around. My sweet three-year old stopped doing one of his absolute favorite things to serve a friend, and he was so proud of himself as I was of him. And, although I am pretty sure he will be up to his usual antics just as soon as he wakes up from his nap, I am relishing in what has got to be the most perfect first day of school! And, yes, I know I am bragging, but I just can't help myself!

Hello, Bruce!!

When people meet Bruce for the first time, they usually comment on how pretty (ahem, handsome) the color of his hair is. Then the comment, "Watch out! Redheads have quite a temper," inevitably follows. Well, B has discovered a new emotion: sheer anger. I think he is going to be able to hold his own with his brother and sister just fine! PS-this had being going on for a few minutes already before I started recording and it was all over a pink balloon tug-of-war match with his sister. PSS-B won!!

JT, baby...

just one of the many, many reasons to love Memphis (ok, so he is really from Millington, close enough) This is from the CMOM today

Shark Week!!!

Shark Week is Here!!! And, as you can tell, my little guy is fully prepared. He is the best looking shark around if you ask me.

Check out the shoes

PS-My guy went to the aqaurium at the beach last week with GaGa and Grandaddy. When the scuba diver asked someone in the audience to pick out the hammerhead shark, guess who was the first one to spot it!?! (Drumroll) Yes, it was my little three year old. He makes a mama proud!

Outplayed

On the day I married Michael, it was a package deal. I was blessed with finally having not just one but two sisters, and let me tell you, they are both pretty incredible by anyone's standards. They have hearts the size of Texas, and are constantly showering love on the kids and me.

We are at the beach with them right now, and Katie whipped out a blow-up Nemo swimming pool to put on the deck for the kids. You can only imagine the excitement level when Mae and Whitt saw it. We are talking eyes the size of saucers, mouths to the floor, arms waving wildly, legs jumping up and down excitement. Did I mention the pool has a blow-up slide with a little fountain at the top!?!!

Lauren admitted that she had gone all over the place looking for something that could top the Nemo pool, but to no avail.

Sorry, Lauren and Austin. Katie and David outplayed you this time.

Seriously, how blessed are my kids to have these guys!

Rainy Day Perfection

So, the kids and I are at the beach with my in-laws. Yesterday, after a full morning running all over the beach enjoying the sunshine. The rain came, just in time for lunch and naps. Is there anything better than a nice long nap on a rainy day at the beach !?!

The rain continued into the afternoon, but that didn't stop us. Randi, my mother-in-law's best friend, had brought Whitt bubble mix complete with a shark (yes, shark) wand. Now, a side note on Randi: she is one of those people with a sunny, peaceful, and naturally calming presence that is absolutely contagious to everyone around her. You can just feel yourself relax when you are with her, and I have a feeling that she and her husband Doug have never met a stranger. But back to the afternoon, Randi added water to the mix and we headed out to the deck where it was nice and windy. It was an explosion of bubbles and sheer joy! My heart swooned as I watched my little boy with his super long curls (I just can't bring myself to cut them) and sparkling clear blue eyes delight in each and every bubble. He had full on machine gun giggles (you know the fast high-pitched kind, one giggle right after the other). The kind of laughter you hear, and then you catch it and can't stop laughing either. It was one of those moments where I just wanted to push pause, where I selfishly wanted my boy to stay just like that forever. One of those moments of perfection that gives us a glimpse of what Heaven will be like.

Little Mommy

Here are a few Mae quotes just from the past two days: I missed a turn while driving. Mae from the backseat, "Oh, that is alright, Mommy! We all make mistakes, and that was really no big deal. I wouldn't even call it a mistake." Bruce had to get his twelve month shots yesterday. First shot (TB in the arm), Bruce didn't cry. Mae, "Wow, Brucie you are such a big, BRAVE boy!!! You make me so proud." Bruce then has to get two shots in his leg. Mae waving his bunny in his face wildly says, "It will just take a second. You will barely feel it, BIG guy! It will help you not get sick. Look at your bunny! I love you." Dr. Catherine, nurse Nikita, and I decided that I didn't even need to be there. Mae had it all under control. Enjoying watermelon juice at Los Tortugas as a post doctor office treat, Mae looks at Bruce, "You are such a cuddly munchkin! I could just eat you up!!!" On a walk around the block after dinner, Whitt races ahead wildly on his Lightning McQueen ride-on. Mae yells, "RED LIGHT!!! Whitt you need to STOP." When she catches up to him, she continues, "It isn't safe for you to be that far away from us. Please listen!" And for the grand finale: Tonight as JJ and Pops got up to leave after dinner, JJ says to Mae and Whitt, "I love you. Be good for Mommy, please." (Daddy was tied up at work) Mae looks back at JJ and says in her best little mommy voice, "JJ, be good to Popsy! And, be good to yourself, OK!?!" From the mouths of babes, I swear she is a better mommy than I am sometimes, and for the record, I could just eat her up!

Well worth the wait....

A little over a year ago, I had just completed five long weeks of being in the bed/ sofa/ chaise lounge making sure our precious baby boy stayed safely inside his home (ie: me) long enough. When the process first started unfolding and I was on moderate bedrest, I prayed continually for God to bring me peace, to take away my my constant worries and fears. I felt pulled in so many directions. On one hand, I wanted to and needed to do whatever it took to keep our unborn baby safe, but I also wanted to continue to be the mother I had been to Mae and Whitt. I remember looking at my mom during a meltdown, tears streaming down my face saying, "If I can't continue to take care of and be with Mae and Whitt, I just want this baby to go ahead and come." (I was only 32 weeks at the time). A couple of days later as I was driving myself home from the doctors office, I unleashed on my heavenly Father, asking Him where he was, yelling that I needed Him. I felt no peace; I couldn't feel Him; I felt abandoned. Then full bedrest came, and as He "knit" our baby boy's innermost being, He was also leading me and teaching me to be a different type of mother. I didn't cease to be Mae and Whitt's mother when my abilities to "move" and "do" were taken away like I feared. He was faithful to me, and strengthened those bonds. I saw Him at work in my man, guiding Michael as he took on the the extra strain of balancing work with a whole new load of responsibilities at home. As we leaned into the love and support that our friends and family showered us with, we saw our God in each of you. He carried my family and I the entire time (even when I acted like a petulant child shaking my fists at Him). And, one year ago today He delivered sweet Bruce into our hands. On that day as I looked at our new baby boy, I was overwhelmed by God's extravagant grace for us, His astonding provision. Earlier in the pregnancy when we found out we were having another boy, I wondered if I was going to be able to love this second boy as much as my first. I was never concerned with the first two, one was a girl and one was a boy. I knew the relationships would each be unique, but another boy. It didn't seem possible. Looking back now, I know how ridiculous that fear is. Somehow miraculously, your heart just grows to accomodate all that love. I don't know how, but it just does. And, let me tell you, this child of ours is ADDICTIVE!!! I look at him and I see complete perfection. He is joy and sweetness, everything that is good (and, with red-hair to boot). I am humbled to the point of tears when I think that God chose me to be his mother. Happy Birthday, beautiful, beautiful boy!!! What a wonderful year you have given us!

Times have changed

After I got all the kids down for a nap today, I walked into our living room to find the above. Yes, a cherished wedding gift that sits on our cocktail table (a piece that I have always loved for its elegance) has obviously turned into a bedpan for #2. Not sure when he did it, not sure what possessed him to use it over the potty, and not sure what to say. The kid has officially left me speechless!

And meet Johnny....

We had an hour long wait at the Red Bar (yummy restaurant at the beach), so I took the kids in the Zoo Gallery store across the street. We were busy looking at all the interesting artwork and little dodads (actually I was busy trying to make sure that six little hands didn't touch every breakable thing in the store) when we came across a huge basket full of over thirty blabla dolls/ stuffed animals. Bruce immediately starting kicking his legs and waving his arms in anticipation and excitement. Mae and Whitt both have one; Mae, the flower girl and Whitt, the polka dot lion, so I decided it was time for Bruce to bring one home. I put him in front of the basket, so he could crawl over and pick one for himself. Much to my surprise, he beelined to "Johnny." It was love at first sight; he had absolutely zero interest in any of the others. He grabbed hold and wouldn't let go, shrieking in delight, so Johnny was the pick. At dinner, we received a few, "that's an interesting doll" (personally I think Bruce was offended when anyone called Johnny a doll). As I was laughing at Bruce's taste in "buddies" and thinking to myself what does this say about my child, I started thinking about a story Tim Kimmel told at his grace-based parenting conference. His son had asked Kimmel if he could give himself a mohawk. At first, Kimmel was taken aback, but then he realized his son came to him with respect and love asking his permission. His son's heart was in the right place; God longs for our heart, not our hair. As Kimmel said, "Our hair is just a toy God gave us on top of our head." So that is it! Johnny is a model of a sweet, loving, respectful little dude with a heart for God (hence his heart-shaped tattoo) who loves serving others or at least serving Bruce who at this point won't sleep without him. By the way, the man is going to read this and say I think way to much!

The ROAR heard round the World....

So, after being at the beach all morning and the pool early afternoon, the man and I decided to take the kids to the playground post naps one afternoon last week. The real motive behind it was the little cafe across from the playground. We knew we could watch the kids run around while we enjoyed a cocktail and have a conversation without the inevitable interruption every two minutes or so. We were a quarter of the way through our beer and margarita when we heard a giant, boisterous, and repeated, "ROAR, ROAR, ROAR!!!" The man and I looked at each other and simply said, "Whitt" in unison, nothing out of the ordinary to us, but then as I looked around, I noticed the other patrons at the cafe looking at each other with a mixture of surprise, shock, concern. Their faces said it all, "What in the world is that!!?! Do I go help? Do I call 911?" And, who am I kidding, I am sure this was the same scene three stores down due to the sheer volume of the "ROAR!" Next I noticed two little boys scrambling from the lookout tower where they had all been playing, leaving only Mae behind with Whitt. The playground noise returned to the usual level of excited shrieks and yells, and the man and I went back to our cocktails and each other. On the way back to the beach house I asked Whitt what he was "roaring" about. His response, "I was pretending to be an oogily monster who was rescuing Rapunzel."

Makes perfect sense to me!