In the busyness of life, I have found that nothing can slow down time, creating space and connection in a moment like the Word of God.....
Two years ago, when the morning schedule of school at 8 am began, God showed me I needed a way to slow down, "check-in," and connect with each child just before their day started outside our home. I started bear-hugging each one just before they walked out the door and praying a "blessing" (as they call it) over them. Their "blessings" come from the book Praying the Scriptures for your Children and are scriptures organized by spiritual character traits, needs, and relationships.
Just last week, Mae and Whitt had both just left the house, and I returned to the sink to clean up breakfast dishes. Next thing I knew a crazed ball of red hair flashed by me, grabbed hold of both my legs and with great determination and force, turned my body to face his, then shouted with angry, frustrated raw emotion, "I WANT MY BLESSING!!!"
Immediately a vision of Jacob wrestling with God in the desert flashed across my mind filling my heart and soul.... Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." Genesis 32:26b. Jacob wrestled with God refusing to let go until God blessed him, and God had Jacob exactly where He wanted him....a broken man realizing how much he needed His Father, and in complete dependence on the One who made him....the Lord had waited patiently for that moment.
And, in my moment, there stood my very own little Jacob making claim to his "blessing."
...The Almighty God of Heaven and Earth WILL wrestle with my Bruce, and although my flesh will painfully wince and struggle as I watch (for Jacob did not walk away unscathed from wrestling with the Lord, but with a limp for the rest of his earthly life), it will be my soul's joy to watch my God draw our son closer to Himself by His plans as my son learns to refuse to let go...yes, indeed, there will be some wrestling....
Proverbs 22:6, "Train up your child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
I am going to be completely honest when I first became a mother this verse intimidated the hell out of me, no pun intended. Thoughts raced through my legalistic brain, "there is so much to teach them, where do I start, how do I do it, I don't know enough." Notice all the "I"s...
But, as I look at it now I see "the way"....and, the only question I ask myself is "what does God want most?"....and, the answer is both simply and overwhelmingly "our heart".....nothing else...no other offering...and, there is the key....a heart after His own heart is "the way."
I am to raise my son in the way. My son is to see in me a heart longing and yearning unconditionally for the Lord, realizing my complete need for the Way and His mercy...there has, is, and will continue to be lots of mistakes, lots of messiness on my part...but, as long as my heart yearns solely for Him, He will take care of the rest...May I trust Him fully, crying out in thanksgiving....
In the Psalms,
"Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place." 51:6
"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart." 51:16
"I will sacrifice a freewill offering to you; I will praise your name, O Lord, for it is good." 54:6
"He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God." 50:23
yes, we are a mess, but there is hope...
Our God does desire truth and wisdom in the innermost places of our heart...He does not want burnt offerings, but only our broken and contrite hearts turned to Him...the offering of our freewill with thanksgiving....and, He will get us there even if it takes getting down in the dirt wrestling with us.
