Of teeth and timing...

God's timing so often blows (albeit sometimes in an annoyed, selfish, praying for peace kind of way) my mind, and it is usually one of the ways that I feel most loved and safe in Him...

I have tried to wrap my brain around the thought that He in His omniscience knew from the beginning of time exactly what we need and when....intentionally and intricately weaving lives together over minutes, days, years, decades, ,centuries....all our stories to be part of His story...Our God who references the importance of intentionality so often in His Word...Our God who says, "Where there is no vision; people will perish" Proverbs 29:18....How could we doubt the intricacy of His plans, His vision....His timing reveals the depth of that intricacy. It reflects that He, as our Creator, intimately knows both the desire of our hearts and our true needs far better than we do.

One of the beauties of His timing is the range of emotions we experience, both the hurt and the healing. He gives us these emotions, allows and wants us to experience them; and more than anything, He wants us to bring these emotions to Him... It is often the beautiful ache of the wait where we meet Him. It is in that wait where you find that what you might have been clinging to so tightly is nothing compared to the healing He brings and the fullness of Him...It is often in the wait that the desire of our hearts and our true needs align in perfect peace, and we discover we are blessed...blessed with more than we could have imagined for ourselves.

And, He knew exactly what our Mae needed on August 25, 2011. It was time for her first tooth to fall out. At first mention, one would think, "Oh, fun, very exciting! I bet she looks super cute!" But, when you look deeper into the weave, you see the marvel of the pattern...

About six weeks ago, Mae came home from a little summer camp saying her tooth was loose. I would check it, and it wouldn't budge. Different teeth would be "loose," and yet, none of them were budging. A few weeks later, she told a very discerning GaGa that a little girl had told her that you become a "big" girl when you lose a tooth. A mark was made on our little girls' heart, a hurt, a hurt that caused her to cling to a view of herself and maturity through a skewed lens. We talked about how that made her feel and what really makes a "big" girl, actions and choices. The choice of using ecouraging words to build up one another, the actions of being a loving and serving big sister, friend, and neighbor, then we talked about God's timing, how he knew her perfectly and already knew the perfect time for her first tooth to fall out. We later prayed that she would see herself through the clear lense of Truth.

Yes, Mae was hurt, and Our God gave us an opportunity to speak spiritual truths to her. He was concerned with growing her heart as well as her teeth, and after He tended the garden of her heart, He knew it was the perfect time for her to lose not one, but two teeth, two days in a row, to a very captive audience at school!

His timing is the beautiful pursuing love for which our hearts long...He pursued and continues to pursue my girl! May He give me the strength and courage to remember to turn her over to His love despite the hurts.

Fine Feathered Friends

Michael and I just got back from a wedding in St. Johns and very thankfully we were able to have a few extra days just the two of us after the wedding weekend. As we were sitting enjoying one of the seven (yes, I said seven) beautiful beaches on the property where we stayed, I noticed a giant pelican soaring through the clear blue sky about fifty feet overhead. He suddenly tucked his wings, securing them as close to his body as possible, forming a perfect bullet shape, then took a very determined, deliberate, and poised nose dive directly into the water below. He never hesistated, not for an instance. He seemed to never think of the sting the initial impact of the concrete-like ocean surface would bring; he was just focused on the plentiful provision and unending bounty that lay underneath. He did it over and over again in a beautiful display of grace, agility, and stewardship.

Then I noticed the petrel...this little bird would very astutely follow the pelican in its different patterns through the sky, but when it came time to crash into the vast ocean below, the petrel would start the nosedive with eager anticipation and intensity, then would start slowing itself down as the wall of water became closer. With the repitition and guidance of the pelican, it would get closer and closer to the surface, yet inevitably would swerve at the last minute, never crashing through to the ocean below, just softly landing on the surface, and every time the patient and persistent pelican would emerge from underneath with his provision of fish and would feed the petrel, sustaining it.

As we watched their relationship continue the following day, Michael said, "what a lazy bum!" I immediately retaliated defensively with selfish sympathy for the petrel saying, "The petral is not lazy, but trapped by fear. He wants to do everything the pelican is doing!! He just can't."

I say selfish sympathy because at times I can be just like the little petral, so wanting to follow the path of our patient, grace-filled, persistent savior to the vast, overflowing heart of our God, so needing and wanting to breakthrough to the place full of love, joy, and peace....these gifts in unending forms...a place of abundance and bountiful provision....and, then the fear of suffering, sorrow, or pain (my brokeness) creeps in just like the sting of crashing into the ocean surface...I begin to look to my own insufficient capability, forgetting that I am under my companion's, my savior's wings where all things are possible... where I have all I need and more...

But, even when I let fear overtake me and I swerve from where He is leading in an attempt at "self-preservation," He is still there, waiting mercifully for me, ready to fill me up with a portion from that source of unending love, despite my failure, then patiently showing me the way again...

This world we live in can be a hard world, full of unexplainable suffering, sorrow, pain, and heartache....just like the surface of the ocean in the middle of a wild storm where waves are crashing all around you, where you see no way out and you can't hear your own voice, only darkness and noise seem to surround, but when you go deep enough beneath the surface, the crashing turns into a side to side rocking motion and the loud noise takes on soft, muffled echoing sound....the pain and suffering is still present, but when we plunge deeply into the one true source of perfect love, a sense of transforming peace can come with it.....and, we see the blessings surround us and these blessings abound as we pass these portions on...loving with wild abandonment, bravely...the way He loves us

"He has covered me with his feathers, and under his wings I do trust." Psalm 91:4

"Therefore I begin to think, my Lord, you purposely allow us to be brought into contact with the bad and evil things that you want changed. Perhaps that is the very reason why we are here in this world, where sin and sorrow and suffering and evil abound, so that we may let you teach us so to react to them, that out of them we can create lovely qualities to live forever. That is the only really satifactory way of dealing with evil, not simply binding it so that it cannot work harm, but whenever possible binding it with good. " Hannah Hurnard, Hinds' Feet on High Places

Maeisms

Just a few quotes from Mae over the past couple of weeks:

*Upon me looking down at the purple ribbon stolen from her favorite doll which was then wrapped around her ankle so tighthly that her foot was also taking on a purplish hue, she says, "This is my anklet! Don't you like it!?!"

*While in Florida, a little discussion took place between Shea and Mae about Christie, Shea's mom....

Shea: "My mom doesn't eat breakfast. She just drinks coffee."

Mae: In her most disapproving voice and shaking her head, "That's just WRONG!"

Hey, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!

*Last week, I was reading a book to the kiddos when we were transported to England when Mae said to Whitt, "I received this very book on my birthday last year."

*The grand finale is her quote as I gave Michael a goodbye kiss, "Why do the two of you always chew each others' faces off!?!"

*Oh, and not to be outdone by his sister, Whitt informed us in his most exasperated tone as he kept trying to stack a wall of blocks to the ceiling that, "there is a little man living in the box at the top that keeps shaking and knocking them down!"

Just had to share!