Our little bird sat perched on the dining table discussing party plans with her namesake in a fit of giggles, one turning six, the other ninety. Amongst cake flavors, balloon colors, themes, and talk of tea rested the rich undercurrent of Life, the steady undulating waves of love washing over my soul, the seemingly unspoken in the spoken, the unseen in the seen, the Scarlet Thread, the tie that binds.
Almost six years ago, our beautiful bird arrived six weeks early, truly a case of the early bird catching the worm. In so many ways, I was a self-centered worm, and she caught my heart immediately. I had never known such earthly love and pain all comingled in a single moment as my baby girl left my body, then my arms to be whisked to the NICU. In that same moment, He lovingly started His work of loosening jagged knots of my heart I knew not were there. Places I had tied up with my own tape of control, bandages of self, and staples of guilt. Those places I dare not go for the fear of unraveling or worse becoming completely undone, yet for the health of my baby bird, I let the Knitter of souls go about His work. Over the past six years, He has untied alot of knots, and gracefully woven His Scarlet thread in their place. In an act of mercy, my God has cared more about my sanctification than my "emotional comfort" replacing it with abiding joy and passion. Refinement truly is a form of God's love giving us a clearer picture of Jesus, the Scarlet thread running through all of life. To be a christian is to live amongst miracles; joy in sanctification, peace during refinement, it seems unfathomable, but it is Truth. The miracle within the miracle is that we not only receive the only joy that remains, but also little bursts of sheer rapture within that joy...these brief moments where we see some of the whys behind His plans, the intricacy of His providence, the care in His details. Over the years He has lovingly revealed to us several reasons for Mae's arrival, each one ushering in a new praise and thanksgiving as well as a realization that His refinement is a magnifying glass for our small, diminutive dreams making them larger, deeper, richer giving us the true desire of our heart; the dreams and desires from long ago. His work continues in me, but I now long to become undone by Him to feel more of His love and see more of His dream.
As my little bird sat perched, my Father sent His dove with yet another gift tied in a red ribbon....Mae was early. Now she and her namesake have birthdays just a month apart. They can plan their parties in a fit of giggles celebrating the Life given to us, another miracle within the miracle and another strand strengthening their soul tie in The Scarlet thread running through their hearts and mine.
Early in my limited spectrum of time, and just as planned in the perfect time of the Alpha and Omega, this Father who loves to give gifts tied up with a red ribbon.
"For you, O Lord, are my hope,
my trust, O Lord, from my youth.
Upon you I have leaned from before my birth;
you are he who took me from my mother's womb.
My praise is continually to you." Psalm 71:5-6
Friday, January 13, 2012
The Tie that Binds
Our little bird sat perched on the dining table discussing party plans with her namesake in a fit of giggles, one turning six, the other ninety. Amongst cake flavors, balloon colors, themes, and talk of tea rested the rich undercurrent of Life, the steady undulating waves of love washing over my soul, the seemingly unspoken in the spoken, the unseen in the seen, the Scarlet Thread, the tie that binds.
Almost six years ago, our beautiful bird arrived six weeks early, truly a case of the early bird catching the worm. In so many ways, I was a self-centered worm, and she caught my heart immediately. I had never known such earthly love and pain all comingled in a single moment as my baby girl left my body, then my arms to be whisked to the NICU. In that same moment, He lovingly started His work of loosening jagged knots of my heart I knew not were there. Places I had tied up with my own tape of control, bandages of self, and staples of guilt. Those places I dare not go for the fear of unraveling or worse becoming completely undone, yet for the health of my baby bird, I let the Knitter of souls go about His work. Over the past six years, He has untied alot of knots, and gracefully woven His Scarlet thread in their place. In an act of mercy, my God has cared more about my sanctification than my "emotional comfort" replacing it with abiding joy and passion. Refinement truly is a form of God's love giving us a clearer picture of Jesus, the Scarlet thread running through all of life. To be a christian is to live amongst miracles; joy in sanctification, peace during refinement, it seems unfathomable, but it is Truth. The miracle within the miracle is that we not only receive the only joy that remains, but also little bursts of sheer rapture within that joy...these brief moments where we see some of the whys behind His plans, the intricacy of His providence, the care in His details. Over the years He has lovingly revealed to us several reasons for Mae's arrival, each one ushering in a new praise and thanksgiving as well as a realization that His refinement is a magnifying glass for our small, diminutive dreams making them larger, deeper, richer giving us the true desire of our heart; the dreams and desires from long ago. His work continues in me, but I now long to become undone by Him to feel more of His love and see more of His dream.
As my little bird sat perched, my Father sent His dove with yet another gift tied in a red ribbon....Mae was early. Now she and her namesake have birthdays just a month apart. They can plan their parties in a fit of giggles celebrating the Life given to us, another miracle within the miracle and another strand strengthening their soul tie in The Scarlet thread running through their hearts and mine.
Early in my limited spectrum of time, and just as planned in the perfect time of the Alpha and Omega, this Father who loves to give gifts tied up with a red ribbon.
"For you, O Lord, are my hope,
my trust, O Lord, from my youth.
Upon you I have leaned from before my birth;
you are he who took me from my mother's womb.
My praise is continually to you." Psalm 71:5-6
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One of my very favorites!
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