A Case of the Blues

I have been reading this book, "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp (great book! do yourself a favor and go get it! she is such a beautiful, eloquent writer-the type of writer where you just get lost in the imagery of her words). The book is about thanksgiving, "eucharisto," and how we can meet God in every moment of our days when we seek the beauty of His gift in that moment with a heart overflowing in thanksgiving, and in the midst of this thanksgiving, slowing the current of time as we reach out to our God who is bound by no limits/no constraints, a God to whom time is irrelevant.

Inspired by Ann (yes, we are on a first name basis or in my mind we are), I have been attempting to do this, this "study" or awakening to His gifts through my own outpouring of thanksgiving. Key word: Attempting. Much of the time, I have been saying them out loud, letting them sink in, feeling them warm my soul.

And, since I have been enjoying it so much, I wanted my kids to experience something similar. They have been throwing in their thanksgivings at times when I speak mine aloud, but I also thought it was a brilliant idea to cultivate a thankful spirit/ combat their level of whininess for me to ask them to tell me something they are thankful for whenever I heard them whine/ complain. This had been all well in good the past week until this morning when all the forces of whininess/ complaining/ tantrum came to the forefront over the breakfast table. Here I was asking them to tell me something they were thankful for, and all I could think was, "It is way to early for this, I haven't had my coffee, I am going to pull all my hair out, or my brain might explode." How self-righteous is that! Here I was trying to teach my children one thing, and I wasn't getting down in the dirt of that moment doing it along with them-thanksgiving, "eucharisto," in NO MATTER WHAT THE MOMENT HOLDS!

So, I have decided to combat the whininess battle, that is my own whininess, with a list of ten reasons why I am thankful for my childrens' whining:

1-I am blessed to have three children, three children I prayed for, three children I can't get enough of, and if they are whining/ falling out in a tantrum, they are breathing and alive.

2-Not only are they alive, but they also must be very strong considering the sound decibels their voices create. I am thankful for their strength, health, and their voice.

3-There is noise in my house. I am thankful for that noise, and I will miss that noise one day.

4-That noise sounds like a symphony to our God. I am thankful that we have a God that is bound by no limits, that is so omniscient, omnipotent, and loving He is able to listen to all the noises throughout the earth at the same time, reading every thought and be completely full, open for each person in their moment, not just a piece of Him, ALL of Him, FULL.

5-I am thankful that my own kids are further along then I am in the whininess battle, judging from my nickname being "the whiner" as I was affectionately called by my brother and my dad in my younger years.

6-I am thankful that even though I am obviously not meeting all my kids needs or else there would be no whining/ tantrums, God has a perfect plan for them/ me and will always meet our real needs when we ask.

7-I am thankful for the humility it brings me and God's grace for that moment, for the cross we can go to.

8-I am thankful that so often when one of my children is upset the others are trying to comfort him/ her. I am thankful for sibling love, for the recognition of that bond in these moments, and how God uses these moments to make that bond that much tighter and stronger between them. Water has the ability to make rope knots tighter; my children's tears can somehow make their bond that much tighter.

9-I am thankful that Bruce's red curls seem to get that much curlier and tighter when the anger of a tantrum appears, and oh, how I really just love his hair!

10-And, most importantly I am thankful that the moment does pass!! and, so often it passes just as quickly as it appeared. I am thankful for the amazing range of moments we are given, how no two are alike, and how all of our moments in all their intricacies and feelings are somehow beautifully woven together. Our God is an Awesome God!

**I am adding this quote from Voskamp that I read earlier this morning (two days after I wrote this blog) "The parent must always self-parent first, self-preach, because who can bring peace unless they've held their own peace? Christ incarnated in the parent is the only hope of incarnating Christ in the child..."

And, then she quotes Caussade,

"You would be very ashamed if you knew what the experiences you call setbacks, upheavels, pointless disturbances, and tedious annoyances really are. You would realize that your complaints about them are nothing more nor less than blasphemies-though that never occurs to you. Nothing happens to you except by the will of God, and yet (God's) beloved children curse it because they do not know what it is."

POINT TAKEN!

Superhero Redfined

Uncle Dabid (as Whitt calls him) has always been somewhat of a superhero to Whitt. David is just one of those really cool Lance Armstrong type athelete, super outdoorsy (not sure if that is a word), garderner, naturalist, easygoing, always has a smile on his face, and always ready to play with our kids kind-of-guy that any little dude would LOVE! And, the rest of us think he is pretty cool as well.

But, for all these endearing traits, it was David's actions over the past weekend that elevated him to superhero status in Whitt's eyes. Katie and David's house (I think attic and chimney) had turned into a little housing community for a bat family who I assume multiplied at the speed of light because as of last night David had helped 51 (yes, I said 51) bats move out of their house to find a new place of residence, spreading their bat shreeking joy elsewhere. Evidently, bats are to Richmond what rats are to east Memphis. Let's be honest they are basically the exact same thing, one just flies. When I told Whitt about it, he said...

"Wow, I bet uncle David used 50 cages to catch all of them, and I bet he wrestled them into the cages with his BARE hands!!! You know he is pretty strong!"

So, here's to our real life Batman and one cool uncle!

And, here's a little video of one of the babies-yuck! I know all of God's creations reveal some form of beauty, but I prefer the bat drawings of Stellaluna versus up close and personal when contemplating the transcending uniqueness of bats.

Funny, how after I got over the shreeking of the baby, just hearing the squeals/ laughter of my sweet sister-in-law in the video made me completely crack up, made me completely miss her, and made me completely want time with her even if a bat baby is involved.

We will ROCK you!

Here's to all the amazing moms I know that ROCK!

And, here's to the little blessings that ROCKED and continue to ROCK our world! The highs are HIGH; the lows are LOW. We will always only be as happy as our least happy child.....

But, How sweet it is to be loved by them! And, How much we, with our whole being, love them!

Mother Teresa said "We can do not great things, only small things with great love. It is not how much you do but how much love you put into doing it." To me, that is the definition of motherhood, but those small things with great love do end up being the great things to the most important eyes and hearts in the world, our children's.

I love you, ladies!

Versatility

I absolutely love that my girl can go from playing with this.....

to easily playing army fort and soldiers with her brothers. Quite a girl!

PS-I don't know why, but every time I look at how Mae has Rupunzel hanging, I absolutely crack up!

The Magic of a Third Grade Craft

Today, I watched a really cool 3rd grade craft demonstration. They fastened a white handkerchief over a solo cup with a rubberband; they then drew dots of different color sharpie markers all over the top making a pretty ugly mess; after that they dropped a couple of drops of clear rubbing alcohol over the marks, and the ugly mess transformed into a beautiful kaliedoscope of colors. All the harsh sharp edges and dark colors of the markers morphed into a beautiful, undulating tie-dyed creation where soft shades and hues seemlessly ebbed and flowed into and out of one another.

Since Bruce has been born, I have had to really lean in, cling to, and trust Romans 8:28. You see (and, I say this very gratefully) I am not the same parent for Bruce's babyhood that I was for Mae and Whitt's. I am more confident in my walk with Him. I have learned to turn more and more over to him, believing in/clinging to his promises, and through this continued process, my parenting has been reshaped with more of His grace flowing out. But, as I praise Him for his work in me, there is the sneaking regret that finds its way through the back door of my heart.

Then today I started thinking about how much I have loved watching Whitt over the past week and half. In one Saturday I watched as our little man joined us for a breakfast with the Youth Leadership boys at 7:00 am helping us with his baby brother, talking with the older boys, and only needing us a couple of times as we fixed breakfast and visited. An hour later, he was helping his brother fill his basket with eggs at a hunt, and he finished the day by working the yards with his daddy and the boys from noon until 5:30 (he even got to use the leaf blower). The next night his baby brother moved into the room with him and into a big boy bed, and Whitt eagerly taught him the ropes, leading the way through two stormy nights with no power. He really is turning into a little man.

Suddenly, the image was so clear to me of how God with His love and grace is the element that bleeds through all those ugly marks/ mistakes I have made and uses them to shape my boy into His kaliedoscope for His light to shine through, and although I know I have plenty of "I'm sorrys" in my future, right now as I look at the beautiful character growing in Whitt, all my regret is flushed out by overflowing thanksgiving, relief, and an even deeper longing to grow closer to my God.

PS-Growing into a little man can be some tiring work! Check out the video-I found our little guy passed out in the dining room floor, snoring away with his "transperformer". I guess a little man who says he no longer needs a nap, just might every once in awhile : )

Postcards from the Edge

I have felt an increased "edginess" this past week. Over the past few years, I have come to realize that when this feeling starts creeping into my soul God is trying to teach me, mold me, and expand my heart. He was using a certain situation in my life recently to spew out the "vinegar" that was sitting in me so that more of the Spirit's annointed "oil"/love could fill me up (ok, I am a visual learner). It was a stronghold I thought I had defeated and was keeping in check. I described my "edginess" as being brought to the brink of former sin by way of temptation and the emotional uneasiness that results from that temptation. I had "labelled" it, I had journaled about it, I had dissected it, I had prayed to see my sin more clearly, I had meditated on scripture, on and on and on.

Then, this morning as I asked Mae and Whitt to come brush their teeth for the fifth time (feeling like I was in the movie Groundhog Day) I was quick to remind them that I should only have to ask once, and as the words slipped out of my mouth, God whispered to my heart I remind you all the time, I never get tired or frustrated and I never stop, come to me.

You see really what I thought was being taken to the "edge" of an old sin pattern was my recurring sin cropping up again (thanks to a friend who lovingly made this apparent to me), and as I was getting caught up in all the "I"s of being self-aware, trying to dig so deep, essentially trying to be my own healer, I was missing the sweet simplicity of God's grace. As my mind spiraled out of control going back to the situation over and over again, Jesus was moving further and further from my focus to my peripheral vision. Simply, I wasn't taking my sin to the cross, laying it down, letting Jesus do his beautiful work of intercession, and this morning when I did the "edginess" very gratefully disappeared.

It amazes me how that crushing weight on your soul and that separation affects you both emotionally and physically. The past few days I have been more tired and weary than I have been in a long time, and to make His victory this morning that much sweeter, I was given the opportunity to take a nice long run in the bright sunshine. I praise Him that I am not the person I was yesterday, and I praise Him that I am not the person today that I will be tomorrow. I praise Him that for the moment this time has passed, and I praise Him that it will most certainly come again as He continues what he started. I praise Him for the people in my life who love me through my "edginess." With hope in my heart, I am very thankful to be His work in progress.

****"If we claim that we're free of sin, we're only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsence. On the other hand, if we admit our sins-make a clean breast of them-he won't let us down; he'll be true to himself" 1 John 1:8, The Message ****"My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it." 1 John 3:18, 19, The Message Ok, a little sidenote: as I was typing this, I hit something accidently that made the font for "the sweet simplicity of God's grace" different from the rest of the words, and I couldn't figure out how to correct it. You think God's trying to make a point to me, he is even using highlighting!?!

0.01%

Love these people! I think it says alot that after seven full days together I still could have used more time with them (hopefully the feeling was mutual). Notice: I am in a daydreaming Ginger Lemongrass Margarita haze which is why I am the ONLY one not looking at the camera. Yes, I said Ginger Lemongrass Margarita. It even had a little piece of candied ginger on a stick in it-AMAZING!

Love me some Maui!

I got a quick soulful look, then

back to a hundred miles per hour!

View from the pool to the beach, not to shabby!

Sweet little back and fingertips

At the top of the volcano, Michael put this picture on facebook with 10,063 feet above sea level underneath. He totally made it look like I had hiked up the side of this sucker. The reality is we drove the sixteen miles up the side, and hiked the last thirty feet. I got a good man, always trying to make me look impressive.

Sunsets like this every night, and just to make my running friends jealous, there was a beautiful three mile beach front run in front of all the hotels. It undulated over all the little cliffs and looked out over the ocean. It was amazing at sunrise! I am kind of schizophrenic when it comes to the music I listen to while running, everything from rap (I even have an Eminem song on there), to country like Wagon Wheel, to bluegrass, to 80's, to Rock, and of course, my praise music. Right now, I am really into Matt Maher's song, "Come Awake," and I can't imagine a more perfect way to listen to it than running along the ocean at sunrise during the beginning of lenten season.

"Wake up, O sleeper,

rise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you."

Ephesions 5:14

Oh, and just to rub the salt in the wound a little more. It was whale season, and you could catch a glimpse of them every so often.

B, in only the way B can, OWNED the baby pool!

Mae taking photography lessons from Grandaddy.

Doesn't this picture look a little bit like the Housewives of Orange Beach, with the fountain in the background and the wind blowing our hair!?!

There is no way a blog or photos could capture how incredible, amazing, awesome, beautiful, stupendous, outrageous, lovely, happy, peaceful, and energetic this trip was. I was only able to capture about 0.01% of how special it was to me in this little entry.

Thank you GaGa and Grandaddy for making it all possible and more importantly for just being exactly who you are. You mean the world to us, Happy 60th!