I am a bit clingy...

"From the heights we leap and go
To the valleys down below
Always answering to the call
To the lowest place of all
From the heights we leap and go
To the valleys down below
Sweetest urge and sweetest will
To go lower, lower still." Hannah Hurnard's Hinds' Feet On High Places

 Early morning, I slip out of bed. Coffee brews; cinnamon rolls warm. Smells tingle and touch as Word stirs my quiet places.
Son speaks as sun rises, and the call has come for Life in motion.
Red-curls soundly sleeps in the solace of father.

I stop. I turn.

My cheek touches his. I breathe him in, the beginning of Holy Kiss.
Are we ever more precious to God than when we are resting in Him.
I breathe in to treasure, trying to hold on.
Yet, hold on to tightly, eternity suffocates.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, its yours forever.
Exhale haunts. I must breathe Red-curls out.

Motherhood feels like tight-rope walking. I delicately attempt to balance between the confidence of devotion and the humility of letting go. Holding breath, I walk a straight line grasping the bar of control and standards. My mission, to demonstrate God's secure foundation of Love while remembering that these littles are ultimately His, not mine. It seems impossible.

The eminence of breathing out is never more apparent than in the breathing in; One carves truest beauty out of the other.

Bird fidgets as the Body worships.
Discovering a perch, she nestles beneath my wing.
Prayer of adoration rings in cacophony to Voice...
'Let them praise his name with dancing, making melody to him with tambourine.'
This Meriam of mine, who cares for two brothers, I breathe her in. How Bird loves to hear her story. Generations of sisters to lead across the sea praising with tambourines.
Life cut short if she was to be only mine.
Word reminds, 'with man it is impossible, but not with God.'

Breathe in; Breathe out...the Life rhythm of faith...

There is no tight-rope, just the vertical line of grace.
Life is not about a climax, but about the downward spiral of humility.
The humility of letting go is confidence in His devotion.

Mother Mary kissed by the Spirit. She said yes to an angel.

Trust fall began.

She breathed child in deeply, 'treasuring up all these things in her heart, knowing 'a sword would pierce through her own soul.'

Purpose called. Word spoke, 'Who is my mother?'

Breathing out. I commit.

Mother exhaled fully in Son's last breath. The hard ground of humility quaked at the foot of the cross. The canopy of Truth dropped; the grace lines fell around a group of vagabond women. Iron sharpening iron grasping lines creating a net that would carry from last breath to New Life. Indeed, the lines fell in pleasant places. Theirs was a beautiful inheritance.

If you love something, let is go. If it comes back it will be yours forever.

Mary lost fullness of belly, gaining fullness of Heart.
Breathing out, mother became child.

Free-will, He let us go. We did not come back, so He carved the Way. Holy Kiss complete.

Breathe in; breathe out. I commit.

Cling to the cross; drop the bar.

To my unseen parent: Help me treasure deeply through the breathing in and breathing out of the Holy Kiss where the pain of your goodness and the transcendence of your peace mingle. Keep me in the sanctuary of your rest where it matters not if I make sense of it all. Thank you for the vagabond women who dare me to jump, push me to the edge of myself, and carry me from one breath to the next when the hard ground of humility has knocked the Wind right out of me.

"Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Faithfulness springs up from the ground and righteousness looks down from the sky. Yes, the Lord will give what is good, and our land will yield its increase. Righteousness will go before him and makes his footsteps a Way." Psalm 86:10-12