Beautiful Dreamer

"There is nothing-no thing, no person, no experience, no thought, no joy or pain-that cannot be harvested and used for nourishment on our journey to God." Macrina Wiederkehr's A Tree Full of Angels

"As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs..." Psalm 84:6

"Passing through the Valley of Weeping, look for the springs, confident of the season of healing..." Prayer Portions

On the way to school, Bird dons a pink dress with white daisies, captivating beauty chattering in the back seat.

Upon arrival, chatter ceases as a steady stream of uniforms pours into school. Mama sparrow has mixed up picture day.

I face Bird with "I am so sorry."

With amazing grace, her brown eyes meet mine with a reflective response, "No big deal."

She bravely jumps out of the car, her tiny body framed by a giant backpack, moving forward.

I pull away feeling helpless. The constricting snake of anxiety coils around my heart. The "what-ifs" and "if only's" multiply...What if other girls tease her? What if she is embarrassed? What are the costs to her heart for my failure? If only, I had remembered? If only, I were more organized? The final blow...If only, I were a better mom?

The next moment I remember a friend's words, "Mae is a unique combination of humility and quiet confidence..."

Hurt humbles; His love heals...Confidence grows...Amazing Grace...

I felt helpless upon her birth as she arrived six weeks early. I felt helpless a week before her first birthday as I was placed on bed rest. The memory of her mind may have no record, but her heart recalls. These moments when a mother's touch seems like everything, and her mother wasn't there.

I have seen her hurt, and I have hurt as I patiently waited for her to dare to trust again. He has been the parent behind the scenes as He taught me to parent in the unseen.

Hurt humbles; His love heals...Confidence grows...Amazing Grace...

Over the next hour, I pray for my girl in all the details and "what-if" scenarios; I allow my Father to be the parent until I am able to arrive uniform in hand.

My heart recognizes His familiar refrain for me...Helplessness is the beginning of true power, and grace is the beginning of glory. Live in my mercy; serve by my grace.

That afternoon as we venture in Narnia, those brown eyes look to me, "Mommy, this morning was kind of bad. It was annoying; everyone asked me why I didn't have my uniform on."

I listen; I acknowledge the pain; I thank her for her generous, forgiving, ever-growing heart. Then, I ask, "Did you remember in those moments before I got there that God loves you head to toe, heart and soul, just the way you are, all the time, and He could care less what you have on?!?"

She sweetly chirps, as a slight grin broadens into a gap-toothed smile, "Yes, mommy, I did, and thanks for bringing my uniform later." Just like that, she flits away.

Hurt humbles; His love heals...Confidence grows...Amazing Grace...

Moments later Bird busily begins work on a masterpiece. Moments turn into almost an hour, and then I hear her call. Her work is done; she hands over her offering, a stain-glassed picture of her love and her family.

I notice a small corner facet, "What does that say, Bird?"

"I love myself!" she replies...tears sting my eyes.

A friend's Truth,"Mae is a unique combination of humility and quiet confidence."

Hurt humbles; His love heals...Confidence grows...Amazing Grace...

She is His song; she is a beautiful dreamer growing before my very eyes...

From Bird's favorite of the summer... "He finally decided to play 'Beautiful Dreamer, Wake Unto Me.' He had always loved that song. It was sad and sweet. 'She is a beautiful dreamer,' thought Louis,'and she will wake unto me.' E.B. White's Trumpet of the Swan

Bird, when the hurt of this world tempts you to close off pieces of your heart, take your hurt to His love, beautiful dreamer, that you may trumpet His glory into eternity.