Beginning to Fill

First days of summer, Blue-eyes sits at the kitchen counter, his legs lazily swing back and forth, words tumbling one after the other, "Mommy, make sure the cheese oozes out the side. Mommy, Mommy, you know I like it gooey. Mommy, Mommy guess what!? guess what!?"

He comes up for air, and I offer the afternoon plans...swim lessons.

Silence threatens...nine months without swimming has left Blue-eyes pregnant with anxiety...those crystal windows to his soul betray him, giving his heart away.

I pause to let the moment settle, sliding his grill cheese in front of him, figuring I will dive into this pool of fear with him after we pray.

Blue-eyes starts into his blessings "rhythm"....

"Dear God, You are good. You are great. Thank you for this food. Thank you for my family. Thank you for dogs..."

Suddenly transparency breaks "rhythm" as true blessings spill over, this beautiful boy humbles himself. His voice quivers; he chokes back tears...

"and, God, Can you please help me today during swim lessons. I am really scared. Can you please take the fear away? Can you help me be brave?"

Blue-eyes moves forward without me on his first wobbly legs of faith. God moves in the moment I give Him as His child shares raw emotion...

Living water beginning to fill...

Last days of summer, sun-kissed cheeks splash in the water. Blue-eyes practices diving, the fluid motion coming together.

I yell, "Good dive, love!" He quickly reprimands, "Say 'great' next time mommy, not 'good.'Say 'great!'"

This passionate boy of mine who knows no half-way with an insatiable desire to fill...

He scales rocks, then dives into the cool water. As he comes up for air, he faces an unexpected wall; Bird's raft square over him, and no breath to be found. My boy hits the raft in panicked attempts. My heart jumps to my throat anticipating a rescue. I pause, but for a moment. Blue-eyes suddenly swims out from under and moves through the water. Living water providing a Way.

That night, dinner comes with a familiar question, "What did God give you today?" Transparency breaks "rhythm" with an unexpected answer, "Calm in the water." True blessings spill over. My boy recognizes the power that quieted his storm.

Living water beginning to fill...

Blue-eyes, What I long for most is that you may know the saving and healing touch of Jesus, and yet there are moments I am tempted to "take you back," to "protect" you from pain, and moments I selfishly long to fill you with me. Always remember you long for great, not just good...

"Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised. His greatness is unsearchable." Psalm 145:3